there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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