You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
