I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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