You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
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