Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
