Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
