see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
