i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize