I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
