I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize