no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
