My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
