I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
