You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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