i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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