I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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