I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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