I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
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