I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
