Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
