1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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