My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
