I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
