I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
