i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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