if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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