I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have aggressive nipples.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
