I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
