i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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