Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
