I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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