I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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