how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
