where am i from again
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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