The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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