Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
