Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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