chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
