All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I need moral support for this bender
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
