just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
