If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
