Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
This baby is an asshole
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
