Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
