I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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