So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
