never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
