8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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