I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize