i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
