I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
